God & James & Tom & Jerry

God's press conference after the launch of Jeff's new book now promises to be an even more heated affair. James Cameron, director of the abysmal (geddit?) Titanic, has made a documentary claiming Jesus wasn't resurrected and had a son with Mary Magdalene. 'Don't get angry,' I told God, 'get even.' Mind you, He calmed down and became reflective when He saw this vid. The Iranian theory is that Tom & Jerry was a Jewish plot to improve the image of mice. Hitler, you see, had called the Jews mice. Oh, right. 'Basically,' said God, spraying Elnett on His beard, 'I created 6 billion cretins.' 'You did,' I said, 'but don't feel bad, we're on the way out.'