A Guest Political Post from Guidale

So far so good for Hugh Grunt, the Tory candidate for Falkirk (Peebles), whose fight against the UKIP-backed smear campaign led by Gwyneth Paltry, chairman of the Dunkeld (South-East) branch should be an inspiration to Central Office, in particular to Jock Nicholson, David Cameron's brilliant new cufflink adviser. It was Paltry, of course, who was caught charging 144 Strawberry Cornettoes to expenses arising from the 'working' weekend she spent with Labour's leadership hopeful Mitt Damon, whose permatanned SpAd Jake Fillemall was forced to resign after Guidale revealed his links to Darth Vader's Death Star Institute for World Domination. Remember it's shop-a-SpAd month at Guidale, no ifs, not buts, keep these scumsuckers on the run. It's Friday and I haven't got a lunch date but at least I'm in Washington with Condoleezza Streep's number two, lissom Holly Bury who hosted a dinner in honour of Jack Kervorkian at the Deluded Institute, the sort of place where I hope one day to find myself standing between Henry Kissinger and Margaret Thatcher at a urinal. Boris Brando has a fascinating piece in tomorrow's Spectator about how dying his hair might improve his posture on higher education. But, of course, he's just another scumsucker who'll be eating leaden death when Maggie seizes back power in her brand new £1 billion Type 45 destroyer.