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- Name:Bryan Appleyard
A blog about, among other things, imaginary ideas - What ifs? and Imagine thats. What if photographs looked nothing like what we see with our eyes? Imagine that the Berlin Wall had never come down. What if we were the punchline of an interminable joke? All contributions welcome.

24 Comments:
At September 03, 2007 8:54 AM,
ian russell said…
Here, you lookin' at my bird?
At September 03, 2007 8:58 AM,
ian russell said…
Fag break at rehearsals of Guys and Gulls
At September 03, 2007 8:59 AM,
ian russell said…
fark-orf, beaky! it's a piece of cod.
At September 03, 2007 9:04 AM,
Nige said…
Appleyard unveils new casual look. Gull not impressed.
At September 03, 2007 9:24 AM,
anthonynorth said…
Come and get a sweetie.
At September 03, 2007 9:28 AM,
Johntyh said…
'He's gone through 2 pasties, a pork pie, a sausage roll, a doughnut and I just heard him tell his wife "See you for breakfast!"
At September 03, 2007 10:18 AM,
ian russell said…
Bryan prudently placed his brand new wig back in the bag fearful of guano stains.
At September 03, 2007 11:27 AM,
Mark said…
He'll drop the whole bag when he sees my tightrope-walking trick.
Sigh ... chips, chips, chips, that's all you ever think about. Men!
At September 03, 2007 11:37 AM,
ian russell said…
falafel, cucumber raita and beetroot couscous?! bollocks, our wayne's taken me scotch egg and snicker to school again!
At September 03, 2007 11:54 AM,
ian russell said…
AllSpecies Speed Dating Fiasco:
A Mr. Herring C. Gull of Great Yarmouth complained, ''He'd actually put down a preference for 'single, white bird' and I just wanted to meet a great bustard.''
At September 03, 2007 12:08 PM,
Johntyh said…
OK! Magazine Exclusive: Eastenders Phil Mitchell and Ian Beal caught in seaside hideaway!
Sadly, Bryan, it's 'what the people want'.
At September 03, 2007 12:52 PM,
ian russell said…
...so I says to him, look, son, I've regurgitated more times than you've had hot dinners, but, of course, he knew it wasn't true. the kids of today... how's your lunch going down?
At September 03, 2007 1:03 PM,
Susan B. said…
Honestly, Ian -- you've got talent! If only there were a game show where they flashed a picture on a screen and the contestant who came up with the most clever caption in twenty seconds won, you would win every time. Well, Johntyh would be a close second.
My fave: the scotch egg and snicker!
At September 03, 2007 2:12 PM,
Simon said…
'When you've chosen a chip hold it with both hands behind your back, and shut your eyes so I can't see. Honestly, you'll love this trick, works every time.'
At September 03, 2007 3:09 PM,
Neil Forsyth said…
First dates can sometimes be a bit awkward.
At September 03, 2007 3:37 PM,
Grabber said…
Look the other way, Cyril, I think he just threw up into that bag.
(or is this is just regurgitating [sic] Ian R's offering?)
At September 03, 2007 4:04 PM,
ian russell said…
This post has been removed by the author.
At September 03, 2007 4:11 PM,
Johntyh said…
'Not a crumb! Don't think me bitter (or even bittern, ha-ha a joke), but when this bloke arrived the sea wall didn't have a crack in it!'
At September 03, 2007 4:13 PM,
ian russell said…
This post has been removed by the author.
At September 03, 2007 4:20 PM,
ian russell said…
oops, susan, thanks you are too kind but we better not make it a competition or Bryan will have to dig into his pocket for a suitable prize - it's the taking part that matters.
At September 03, 2007 6:24 PM,
Gordon McCabe said…
Seagull prepares to follow trawler after smelling sardine.
At September 03, 2007 7:15 PM,
Johntyh said…
That isn't Bryan sat on the wall, is it ? If it is, I insulted him at 4.11pm, and am deeply sorry!
At September 04, 2007 5:19 AM,
Bryan Appleyard said…
Every time I put up a picture with a bloke in it you lot think it's me. It isn't.
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