New Meanings
'I care passionately about....': I wish to be seen as the sort of person who is thought by the inattentive to care passionately.
'I am a free spirit': I suffer from crippling, infantile narcissism. Best to count your forks after I leave.
'I go with the flow': I am a free spirit (see above) and my pathological selfishness prevents me from observing elementary social niceties.
'I read Gertrude Himmelfarb': I am, like all neocons, an unreconstructed Trotskyist and, anyway, I am Prime Minister.
'I work for the BBC': I am terrified of any challenge to my comfortably conventional views and I must, therefore, pretend to be impartial. (Thanks to Nick Cohen.)
# posted by Bryan Appleyard : 8:29 AM
13 Comments:
At March 03, 2008 10:02 AM,
ian russell said…
Green Economy: I care about our planet enough to make a profit from it.
At March 03, 2008 10:06 AM,
Nige said…
'I hear what you're saying'. And am taking no notice of it.
'Your call is important to us.' Your ordeal has barely begun...
At March 03, 2008 10:33 AM,
Peter Burnet said…
"I must be true to myself" --I'm leaving my family for my assistant.
"I'm getting in touch with my inner child"--I've lost touch with my real ones.
"I'm working on my self-esteem"--I no longer care whether I bore you or not.
At March 03, 2008 11:34 AM,
mutleythedog said…
It is interesting that you mention spoons - my new novel which is being hawked around Grub Street as we speak touches on the history of playing the spoons.
At March 03, 2008 11:45 AM,
ian russell said…
'You could be paying too much for your current service provider'. You could be getting a lot less from us.
'This offer is only available if you agree right now, over the phone'. You don't know who I am and you can't prove nothing.
'You're not interested? That's fine, thank you for your time'. We'll call again next week and, hopefully, speak to your wife.
'Brrrbbb, gllp, herrupp, mr. rooslie? flleep nimpoty doop? Naaaa- baaaa talktalktariff'. Neither of us understands what the other is telling them but I'm incredibly off-the-radar cheap and, by the quirks of international telecom law, you're paying for this call.
At March 03, 2008 1:43 PM,
Brit said…
"I'm entitled to my opinion" - I am incapabable of reason or logic.
"I'm not two-faced"/ "What you see is what you get with me" - this entitles me to be extremely rude to you.
"I don't believe in any particular religion but I am a very spiritual person" - I am unashamed to talk bollocks at great length.
At March 03, 2008 2:16 PM,
Mark said…
You old cynics! Would you prefer instead to be captive spirits swimming against the tide, and too tired by both to care about anything? There's nothing wrong with going with the flow. It's called relaxing.
Time to let go and move on: Time to dump then in it and run.
I take people as I find them: I am a psychopath.
We take very seriously ... : We have been caught with our trousers down.
Free Trade: Slave Trade.
At March 03, 2008 2:22 PM,
Johntyh said…
'I think, therefore I am' : The QCDOC supercomputer gets cocky.
At March 03, 2008 4:09 PM,
elberry said…
"You're entitled to your opinion" - you're wrong and so beneath my notice I don't really care what you think.
"Embrace diversity" or "vive la difference!" - your culture is rotten and should be replaced by a homogenized American rootlessness.
"Thank you for your comments" - fuck you, bitch.
At March 03, 2008 5:59 PM,
malty said…
What`s important is.........
No it fucking isn`t
At March 03, 2008 7:38 PM,
malty said…
its me again (Malty)
"I did not have sex with that woman"
"Well, actually, my cigar did, then she gave me a blow job, then I had a wank in a sink"
Information taken from Sally Bedell-Smiths exellent book....
For Love of Politics
The Clintons in The White House
At March 03, 2008 8:40 PM,
Susan B. said…
"I'm sorry you feel that way." I"m not apologizing for the rotten thing I did.
At March 06, 2008 10:12 AM,
Nige said…
'Service not included.' True.
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